Anticipation

As I sit here tonight holding my precious sleeping infant, awaiting the Kick Off Rally tomorrow, I praise God for the gift of life. I think about how my life has completely changed since I had my son, and for the better. At the same time, mixed emotions overcome me. I become a little sad remembering how 6 years ago I was not in the best of places. Alone and scared, because I was separated from my abusive ex-husband. Alone and scared, because I was raped and as a result became pregnant.

What was I to do? Where was I to go? Who would believe me? Who would help me? Too many questions occupied my mind. No longer being able to keep this secret, I had to tell someone, so at five months pregnant I told my parents. But not everything. Out of fear and shame, I did not tell them about the rape. Everyone was happy and excited, but I was not. How could I be? I put on a good face and tried to go along with everyone else. My ex-husband and I got back together.

One night, I could not take it anymore. It was too much for me. I broke down crying and spilled my heart out to my ex-husband. I told him I was raped. He made me call my family right away. I felt ashamed. My mom asked me about adoption and I spent a lot of nights thinking about it long and hard.

Finally, two weeks before my due date, I decided it would be best for my baby to have a mother and father. My ex-husband had left me again so there would not be a father figure. Being adopted myself, I knew the advantages and disadvantages. I knew that for my baby the advantages outweighed the disadvantages. I was able to pick the adopting parents and met them before the birth. In fact, they were in the delivery room when my baby boy was born.

Six years later, I still know and feel I made the right decision, but I miss him.

So, tonight as I write this, I think about the women who go in for an abortion and wonder how I can make a difference. I realize that I can make a difference by being there praying for them, praying to God that their mind changes away from abortion. I also believe, hope actually, that these words can make a difference, that they can help them see that there are other, better, choices.

I am so glad for this fall's 40 Days for Life campaign. I am excited to stand up for the unborn at tomorrow's Kick Off Rally and to stand outside Planned Parenthood. I am so thankful for this event because I believe it truly touches the hearts of the women who come there for an abortion.

I am eagerly anticipating the Lord's goodness in this fall's campaign.

A woman who by the grace of God chose life